Well I have not blogged in a long time, so let’s start off with a long-overdue post. And why not talk about some dive bars we go to a lot: The Patriot and the (new) Cheapshots. I would talk about The Duck too, but since I was on “hiatus” and not blogging, the bar closed. That’s a drag, because I loved the place. Not to death, but I did love going there.

So, where to begin? The Patriot.

First, why are so many of the bartenders so horrible? There are some great ones, and I am going to ask for the regulars to post their names below in the comments section of the blog (a novel concept, I know). Since I only get to The Patriot once a month, I can’t speak to who the great ones are. But when I’ve been there with Bass Ale Man and PaulKatcher.com, there have been a few that are considered starts. The longtime veterans seem to have all been fired. But I am particularly peeved about the newcomers.

Hiring some rookie who just moved to New York is fine with me. But if the bartenders have no experience or pizzazz, what’s the point? Too many bartenders at The Patriot just stare at you, like they have no idea how to interact with a customer. This is definitely not how Tommy used to run his bars, which were 100% about customer interaction. Dare I say it? Most of the bartenders are afraid of the customers.

A few months ago, Tommy took over Cheapshots, which is a stone’s throw from Coyote Ugly. I admit I only went to Cheapshots to see Carmit on Friday afternoons. When Tommy took over he cleaned house and canned everyone. That’s his business. But the staff, from the reports, is that these are the same minor leaguers who come over from The Patriot. Has anyone anything else to add to this?

It’s a sad thing about The Duck closing. However, it seemed to be inevitable. There is only one real factor, and that’s the location. Being in El Barrio, it was just a little too sketch for a lot of Tom’s crowd to venture too. Sure, you had to be a real pussy not to want to walk from Lexington Avenue to Second Avenue, but if you are plastered, that’s not smart in any neighborhood. But I think the location turned a lot of people off. I did like the setup, with the 2 bars. Every time I went there I had a blast; the highlight being the World Series victory last year.

I hope this gets some of you talking about how the bar scene is going in the world of dive bars. Comments are welcome.

You may be getting dust in your PBR at The Patriot today, as a building collapsed this morning close to it. The address is at 71 Reade Street (between Broadway and Church Street). It appears that it was vacant, and was being prepared to become a hotel. See photos here.

Tommy with Megan at The Patriot.

Could Tommy McNeill have us drinking again at 457 West 17th Street, the former home of Red Rock West? Our “reliable sources” tell us that Tommy, the fleshy proprietor of The Patriot and The Duck, is about to take over the old Red Rock, which closed amid lawsuits, acrimony and much bad karma in May 2008 after a 13-year run.

This is good news for dive bar fans, as it comes on the heels of word that Tommy is busy with carpenters and electricians to ready his third bar—so far unnamed—on East 92nd and Second Avenue (which coincidently, also held the defunct Red Rock Roadhouse, which shuttered two years ago).

Tommy has been the pied piper of dive bars in Manhattan for 20 years. Without him, there would be none of the early 1990s dives that exist today: Coyote Ugly (he gave founder Liliana Lovell her start in the bar game), Hogs ‘n’ Heifers (he was the brains of the original operation) nor Doc Holliday’s (Tommy was an original investor and co-owner, and came up with the name). When he closed the original Village Idiot on First Avenue and 9th Street in 1994, and moved across town to 14th and Tenth, we rejoiced. That place closed in 2004 and his Upper West Side operation, Yogi’s, closed in October 2008. He has been running The Patriot (Chambers and Church) for five years and The Duck (West 112th and Second Ave) for less than six months. With Tommy, it is cheap beer and Johnny Cash tunes at all times. He has done more for the bottom line of Pabst Blue Ribbon and Jack Daniels in New York than any other person.

Could he pull this off in the shadow of the High Line? Of course. We saw him mobilize the bartenders from The Patriot and Yogi’s and move into The Duck in a matter of hours. He has been hiring new girls like crazy for the past several weeks. As soon as the Upper East Side bar opens—which could be in a matter of weeks—he will have his hands full getting the old Red Rock West in shape to open.

Could we see Dara of The Patriot/The Duck at the old Red Rock? We hope so!

What can we expect? When Red Rock West folded, the staff of about a dozen bartenders scattered to the four corners of the city. A couple found spots at Coyote Ugly (where they had to tone down their antics, sad to say). Others moved to the outer boroughs. In the world of Tommy, he will staff the bar with the same girls that work for him at The Patriot and The Duck. Could it open by Memorial Day for Fleet Week? We hope so.

One big change that separates Tommy’s bars from the now-defunct Red Rock is that he never needs hulking bouncers or doormen, who stood around and intimidated the customers. Tommy hires bartenders that run the bars, do the stocking, and handle all the chores at the bar. So we do not think he will even think about re-hiring any of the bouncers or support staff that worked at Red Rock (and this includes the poor soul who had to guard the motorcycles). I can think of only one male face I want to see Tommy bring back: BOB. That dude was the BBQ master, and his hog roasts were legendary. If Bob is grilling, it will be happy days on West 17th Street again.

Tommy is a smart businessman, and savvy where he picks his bars: his new Second Avenue bar is in a prime spot for the Second Avenue Subway when it opens in six years, and even better, when the High Line park opens, his new bar will be in it’s shadow. It looks like 2009 is going to be a great year for dive bar patrons!

The Bear is back.

After hibernating for less than four months (real bears don’t hibernate that long), the iconic bear from Yogi’s has moved to his new home on Second Avenue. When Yogi’s famously closed on Oct. 5, owner Tommy McNeil refused to part with the 8-foot tall carved mascot. He stashed it in storage, and now he has a place to put it: Yogi’s 2.

The new bar, located at 1754 2nd Avenue (between 91st and 92nd), is in the former Red Rock Roadhouse space, which went tits up more than a year ago. All that is left of the former bar is the “USE” on the signage. The talk is that Tommy is in the process of getting his liquor license, and the bar could be open in time for St. Patrick’s Day.

This will be Tommy’s third bar in his empire, he of course also owns The Patriot (110 Chambers St) and The Duck (2171 Second Avenue, between 111th & 112th St.). This gives Tommy two bars that are exactly 20 blocks apart; but as any regular of his bars knows, there is no way in hell to stumble 20 blocks in a straight line from one of his establishments. However, there is a nice city bus line that goes between the two…

When opening night draws closer, we’ll have more news about the newest dive bar on the Upper East Side. It is only one block south of The Big Easy, which will make for a nice one-two punch.

Regardless of which holiday you celebrate (or, for people like me, don’t), you can’t help being bombarded this time of year by armies of Santa Clauses, usually seeking a bailout, and from you.

Did you ever wonder where the hell all this money goes? Have you ever received a detailed accounting of who gets what from your handouts? And are you now or have you ever been just a tad suspicious that this “goodwill to all” stuff is merely another scam or racket, just like the stock market?

I was ruminating about just such things the other night at The Patriot Saloon, where I somehow ended up after being a guest on Joey Reynolds’s late night radio talk show on WOR. As I was sitting there, enjoying the lovely Jessica tending bar, and talking with a bunch of old friends who are fellow survivors of Yogi’s, I noticed another one of these Santa guys standing in the bar.

Now, I always wondered why his nose was flaming red, but now I had ironclad, documentary proof: Santa is a big fat boozer, and we caught him red-nosed and red-handed at The Patriot with a beer can in his hand.

So next time one of his cronies tries to bum some dough from you, just ask him if he wants a can or a bottle, laugh, and then walk away. Then go to the nearest dive bar, and if I’m there, buy me a cold one. At least you’ll know where your money went, and, after I hit the can, that while it was in the end flushed down the drain, it was put to good use.

(Photos by Eddie Goldman.)

A few months ago, we started to chronicle the doings of veteran bartender Lauren. She had just started working at Yogi’s shortly before the real estate sharks destroyed it, and after the bar where she had worked for six years, Fubar, had physically been destroyed by a crane collapse.

More recently, I ran into her Sunday night at The Patriot Saloon, where for that one night she was filling in. But she does now have two regular shifts: Wednesday nights at The Duck, and Friday nights at The Patriot. So go see her, somewhere, anywhere, as often as you can.

Now you really have no excuse ever to stay home!