New York City Bartenders & Patrons

Man can't live on bread alone, but how about shrimp and Dirty Bloody Marys?

That would be my dream. I think a Dirty Bloody Mary is probably the greatest advance made in drinking since ice cubes. And I had a bunch of them last night thanks to Dirty Vodka at this press event in Chelsea. If you can find this stuff, you have to try it. There's a little bit of salt in it and flavor, some kinda secret recipe. Its the BEST.

It's Easter Week. So of course we're thinking of bunnies. Who the hell really believes that Hef, who turns 76 on April 9, is still banging Playmates two at a time? When he finally kicks the bucket I'd like the truth to come out.

In a strange coincidence, not one but two bars are getting into the bunny spirit this week. If you can get a drink from a woman dressed in a Playboy bunny outfit, does this somehow celebrate Hef's 76 years on this planet? Who cares, just tell me where to go.

Of course it's no surprise that Who's on First is leading the way, since it has Fantasy Night every Thursday. With Chaundra & Liani, they wear funny clothes more often than not. Following them two days later, is the Saturday shift at Yogi's. I'd like to see Tereza and Steph as bunnies, they definitely have the height and looks (aren't Bunnies supposed to be like 5'11" or something?).

As usual, be sure to mention that you saw them on nycbp.com, and tip them well!

If you can only count on death and taxes, what makes life worth living?

How about, your favorite bartenders?

Two more things you can count on: Melanie and Kimmy working together at the sublime Red Rock West Saloon (17th St. and Tenth Ave). That's why this little news item knocked me out of my boots: this Wednesday, the 27th, the bar is celebrating their 500th shift. Can you believe that? FIVE HUNDRED shifts!! Amazing! That's more time than Mike Bloomberg puts in as mayor! Did you know the average NFL player only plays 3.2 years? Kimmy and Melanie top all others!

Over some whiskey, we did the math about this staggering feat, which I hope you will all celebrate by marching over there on Wednesday and thanking these two awesome bartenders.
500 shifts @ 8 hours = 4,000 hours;
If they did 10 1-oz shots per shift, that'd be 5,000 shots;
5,000 shots is 205 bottles of 24.5 oz bottles of whiskey or tequila;
If Melanie did the Water Song every night with 10 pitchers, that'd be 5,000 pitchers; if they hold one gallon, that's 5,000 gallons of water (or 200 bathtubs of water, if a bathtub has 25 gallons);
If the jukebox played "One Bourbon, One Shot, and One Beer" 6 times a night for 500 shifts, that's 3,000 times they listened to it.

For all you do, we salute you!

And mark your calendars, Thursday, April 11, is the bar's 6th anniversary bash. Don't miss it!

I have a love-hate relationship with Maxim. I love the magazine for the pictures and some of the stories. But I hate it for the dumb things it does.

The dumbest is in the April issue. Maxim says the best bar in New York is Brother Jimmy's (Third Avenue). You have got to be kidding me! There are 3,500 liquor licenses in Manhattan alone, and this place is the best of all?

The choices for No. 2 are Ginger Man (take it or leave it, I can't stand the place, the bartenders are terrible) and No. 3 is Motor City (now we're talking). Coming in at No. 4 is the Slipper Room, which must have slipped in when one of the editors decided to stumble down Orchard Street on his way to get a cab to Hooter's...

Someday, a major magazine will do the definitive bartender guide to New York, but we can't count on Maxim for it.

I sometimes say there are only 2 things I like about Iowa. One is my old roommate, Bruce, who's a real farmer's boy and his dad owns like a million acres in a town called Willamsburg or Williamstown or maybe East Jesus. Not sure. Anyway, he was the biggest Iowa State fan I ever knew, until Kimmy came into my life at Coyote Ugly. She works Fridays with Sara, which is kind of like putting matches and bottle rockets together, you know? This Friday, the 22nd, Kimmy is having her birthday at the bar. I don't know how old she is, maybe 22? She's such a good bartender, and the kind of person you want to see moving to New York from a state like Iowa, coming here and kicking ass and taking names. So if you only do one thing this Friday, go and wish this Iowa kid a big birthday. I'm just guessing here, but gift certificates for Tower Records would be nice...

Well time for some Doc Holliday's news. The news here are alcohol central has been piling up. I'm just now getting over St. Patrick's Day weekend... You know you love Doc's, on Avenue A and 9th Street. Well April 6th is their 8th Anniversary Party (has it been that long?)... and then on Friday, April 19 is Joanna's birthday. More details to come, because we always like to post Jo's gift wish list on nycbp.com. But go there and drink now.

I don't know if you need your medicine (or insert other stupid puns here) but tonight is Nurse Night at Who's On First. Of course the occasion is Fantasy Night with Chaundra and Liani, which is every Thursday from 10-4 am. First Ave and 87th Street, for all you patients. Toga Night and French Maid Night was a hit, as was Catholic School Girl Night, so be warned.

If your thing is "music, snowboarding, art, skateboarding, urban style" (don't try all five at once, you'll hurt yourself) then maybe you are a reader of Fridge magazine. They're having a party tonight, it looks like it will be very "urban" or is that "hip-hop" (I'm so white boy) at the always-cool Opaline, (85 Avenue A bet 5th & 6th). Hip-Hop by: DJ MADSOL and DJ HIROTO -- Open Vodka Bar 10-11. no cover / RSVP to fridge.


Have a look at this party. And for the after party, head to The Library to see Elizabeth or Nice Guy Eddie's for Valerie...

Here's another one from our buddy Sean, who's seen more glasses of Guinness than the entire town of Keokuk, Iowa...

Patrick Pierce's Ball - March 16th
This is the official post-parade destination for MurphGuide.com
The Pat McGuire Band and Pierce Turner will be headlining Patrick Pierce's Ball
If you are tired of jamming into over-crowded Irish bars after the parade, come to this green day/red carpet event at the spacious Manhattan Center Grand Ballroom.

-The Pat McGuire Band
-Pierce Turner and his String Quartet
-with special guest Heidi Talbot
-FDNY Emerald Society Pipe & Drum Band

The Manhattan Center Grand Ballroom
311 W. 34th St. (between 8th & 9th Ave.) 7th Floor
all ages/21 & over to drink

Tickets available at www.ticketweb.com

I want Sean Murphy to be the next mayor of New York. Because I know he'd have the good sense to at least live in Gracie Mansion! What a kick ass address to have, and SO close to so many bars! Anyway, he sent me this today...

Pre-Patrick Pandemonium Party at The Parlour - March 14th
The MurphGuide monthly Party at The Parlour will have a St. Patrick's theme, starring the great Irish-American band Celtic Cross.
Live music by Celtic Cross
$5 admission
7:30pm at: The Parlour
250 W. 86th St. (between Broadway & West End) (212) 580-8923
RSVP: MurphGuide@yahoo.com

The Coyote Ugly Saloon party for their Ninth Anniversary was pretty wild. We posted pix and some strippers showed up. Thanks to all the bartenders for a great night!

If you know of bars with St. Patrick's Day specials, or anything special this week, e-mail us the word. Thanks...