Hawaiian Tropic Zone Hell

I was reminded by a hilarious piece in The New Yorker about the Hawaiian Tropic Zone about what a truly horrible bar it is. I have been there exactly three times, which was two times too many. I even went with my wingman, my cousin Joe, who normally would love bikini girls. This place sucks in a lot of ways: and that does not take into account that the bar DOES have gorgeous girls working there.

First, since NYCBP is a site about bartenders: they have terrible and slow bartenders. My GOD, 90 percent of the people there were ordering bottle beer. So what takes so freaking long? It was like they moved with weights tied to their ankles. The other thing about the bartenders was that they made zero attempt to be nice or friendly. Why would I go back?

Second, the bar is set up like a waiting room to get to the tables. I was not there for $20 chicken fingers. I wanted a Bud, at the bar, and to look at the girls. As you can see, they do have babes on staff. There is really only one good feature about the bar: there is a runway over it, so that a couple times a night, the waitresses walk across it. The New Yorker had a funny comment about that. It sounds better than it really is.

If you think it is like Hooters or Scores, than you are doing those two fine establishments an act of slander to include them in the same league. HTZ is some kind of tourist-savvy, flashy, glossy, sports place. It does not work as a bar.

I am going out on a limb here: This place will be closed within 12 months. Maybe Lil can take over the lease, and move Coyote Ugly into the space.