New York City Bartenders & Patrons - nycbp.com

Cowboy Bartenders Review Coyote Ugly movie

by Kevin C. Fitzpatrick

Published August 2000 [New York City Bartenders & Patrons]

Nobody was anticipating the release of Coyote Ugly more than the people who have been to the real Lower East Side bar.

We wanted to see what the Hollywood movie machine would do to a bar we've been to. Interest was also strong among bartenders in the neighborhood. We went to Coyote Ugly on opening day with three bartenders who work one block away from the real-life dive bar. Heading over to Union Square were Joanna, Valerie and Stacy, the top bartenders from Doc Holliday's, a cowboy bar on Avenue A and 9th Street that is strikingly similar to Coyote Ugly. We then headed over for a gabfest to get their review of the Jerry Bruckheimer movie.

What's your gut reaction to Coyote Ugly, now that you've seen it?

Joanna: I'm in shock about how terrible it was. The dialogue was so shitty. Everything was such a cliché. The love affair. The father getting hit by a car. The mother that was a struggling singer.

Valerie: I'm going to agree with the cliché. The movie itself is less of a movie about a bar and more about a girl coming to New York and struggling. I want to agree with Joanna that there are all these cliches, and it's not always like that. The rest of it was an overblown mix of something that was taken from all of the country bars. And that was exciting. I can't say I'm not psyched to go to work tonight after seeing that movie, because I am, and that's exciting. But do I think (the movie's) kind of bullshit, and do I think 13-year olds need to see that? No way.

Stacy: I found it very funny. But a lot of stuff did piss me off though. The choreographed dancing on the bar, no place is choreographed like that. A lot of it was unrealistic, I feel. Come on, five bartenders working at one bar? (Laughs)

Valerie: If your bar was that packed, you'd need five.

Stacy: Still, there's no way that you'd have five bartenders working five days a week at a bar like that. You want to get burned out real fast? That's a real good way to do it.

What parts of Coyote Ugly did the producers get from other New York cowboy bars?

Stacy: The water scene is definitely from Red Rock West. The character of "Lil" in the movie isn't Liliana (Liliana Lovell is the real-life owner of Coyote Ugly); it's Michelle Dell from Hogs and Heifers. It's all the way Michelle Dell.

So the two female bar owners Lil and Michelle are similar in real-life?

Valerie: Yes. In fact, my very first, ever, interview at a bar was at Hogs and Heifers with Michelle. I went in during the day and she said, "You're great, we think you're wonderful, why don't you come back at night." And I did. They dragged me up on the bar. I was so confused and I danced and I know I looked like a complete idiot. She said, "We think you're great, why don't you call me next week for a shift." And I called a week later and she said, "Sweetie, if you want to make it here you have to be persistent in getting a job." So I made it through my audition, I guess, if you want to call it that.

Valerie, before Doc's you worked at Coyote Ugly for a few months. How's the movie compare to the real one?

Valerie: The scene where Jersey leaves Coyote, and Lil says, "I'm not your friend," is so Liliana. Right at that point, I thought (Maria Bello) was Liliana. Liliana is very businesslike. Liliana was a great bartender and she knew exactly what she was doing. Liliana was every single one of those girls on the bar. Every actress in the movie has a little Liliana in her.

How did Liliana hire you, was it like in the movie?

Valerie: I walked in looking for a job. Still hadn't bartended, was brand new to the city. I asked Liliana if she was hiring, she said, "If I wasn't fucking hiring I wouldn't fucking be here," and threw me a bar rag. She said, "Get behind the bar right now," and then she immediately went over to the Mega Touch machine (a video game) and started playing Mega Touch. I got behind the bar and this guy ordered a Guinness. I said "sure" and poured his Guinness and he said "charge me four bucks for that," and I said, OK. She played Mega Touch for a little while longer, and then Liliana said a girl would be in for happy hour. And it was a girl who was consistently late, who later went on to be the manager, so I was there alone during happy hour! So she's late, I'm confused, didn't know what to do. I'd never bartended. I'm holding down the fort. They laughed at me, look at the new girl.

So you started working at Coyote right away?

Valerie: I actually had an audition at the Village Idiot the same week. But I drank like eight shots of Jameson and puked, didn't like Tommy the owner, and I never went back there. I'd had so much fun at Coyote I took that one. They immediately made me the Friday night girl, and that stepped on a lot of toes.

Stacy: Which is what Lil does. The new bartenders are the shit; they immediately get the best shifts.

Valerie: That's only because there's always a new bartender, because no one ever stays there. When I was there, four other girls showed up for Friday night shifts and never lasted. But Jacqui, who has had Friday night shifts ever since Coyote opened, will only work with certain girls. She's very, very strict about that and I think that's why only certain kinds of bartenders who can work Friday night. And since I worked Friday night, I stepped on the toes of the girls who should've gotten Friday night. [Jo and Val]

Valerie (left) and Joanna in 2000.

In the movie, Lil hires back someone she's fired. I've never heard of that happening, have you?

Valerie: Not to me, and not in the history at all. I don't think she's ever hired someone back.

Stacy: She's very finicky, about staff. You're the shit one week, and the next you're out of a job.

Valerie: When she fired me, it was on the answering machine, and I never heard from her since. Even when I've been back in Coyote. After I was fired, I've gone in there a few times to have drinks with friends I made there. She was fine too, she said, "you're welcome in my bar any time you want." Because why wouldn't you want a pretty young thing at your bar? Of course you do (Laughs).

What are some things in the movie that are unrealistic?

Joanna: That scene at the end of the night, where they're lying on the bar, counting their money? Lying on the bar? I wouldn't put my body on the bar at the end of the night, even if you paid me $100 (Laughs). That was purely cinematic (make believe).

Valerie: And another thing, you want to get out of there! Realistically, the sun is up, it's five in the morning and you've been working eight straight hours as the hostess of a party, you're fucking tired. You've got enough energy to shovel some eggs in your mouth and go home and pass out.

And then go play on the bar's softball team too, right?

Valerie: (Laughing) Right, we work until five a.m., we get up the next morning at nine to start our workout, and maybe see our nutritionist, then meet the fashion coordinator, and then make it to the softball game that starts at one.

Stacy: And also there is no way any of these bars will close early (so the staff) can go see a bartender who is having a show! There are weddings of bartenders and bar owners where the bar doesn't close. You make the new girl or someone else work it, and you'd stay open.

Valerie: Or when the fire marshal shows up and says "You're shut down!" does Liliana brush it off and say, "Oh, alright, I'll do it." When the fire marshal shows up, you're scared! You're panicked! Because you're shut down, you're afraid for your (liquor) license. You're shutdown; you don't shrug it off.

How many years have you three been bartending?

Stacy: At Doc's over five years, and on top of that, a year in Staten Island.

Valerie: A little over three years.

Joanna: Six years at Doc's.

What makes a good bartender?

Stacy: Speed, consistency, being attentive to everybody and just having fun. I like to think that when you're working, especially at Doc's, you're having a party and you're the host. You have to make sure everybody is having a good time.

Joanna: I 100 percent agree with you. Along with being the hostess you're the entertainment. You're the cleaning crew. Every night you're everything that goes on in that bar.

Stacy: Sometimes bouncer.

Joanna: When I first started working at Doc's, the owner, Dave, told me there are so many different kinds of customers and you have to figure out what kind of customer each person is.

Valerie: And what each one wants.

Joanna: Right. Do they want to flirt? Do they want you to pick on them?

Stacy: Do they want to just be quiet and sit in a corner.

Joanna: A good bartender can figure out what kind of customer it is, and what they want from you. You have to treat everybody differently.

Valerie: Exactly. Like when Jersey (the Piper Perabo character) should've figured out that guy that she sprayed with water.

Joanna: Right. He was waiting for the owner. She should've figured it out -- do you spray him down, or quietly serve him his glass of water and go on to the next guy.

Stacy: When "Lil" (Maria Bello's character) was going over the rules of the bar, those rules she was reading off, are Dave McWater's rules (the owner of Doc's). When every one of us started working there he told us that according to the customers you don't have a boyfriend, boyfriends aren't allowed in the bar.

How are the Coyote Ugly movie girls like a bartender and unlike a bartender? Do you guys hang out together after work?

Stacy: Sometimes, yes.

Valerie: Sometimes we'll go to a diner for breakfast. We actually do go to diners together. We're not still working though when we get to a diner. That scene in the diner? They were all still working. They were still dressed like they were at work, they were still showing off, they were still playing the part of the bitchy, energetic bartenders.

Stacy: And counting out $300 on a table? That doesn't happen.

That kind of tip money doesn't happen?

Stacy: We do make that kind of money, yes, but they were showing it, that doesn't happen. We'll talk about how much we did at the bar, but not count out the money like they did. Most of the time when we go out after work for breakfast, it turns out to be a bitch fest. And to wind down. What bothered us that night, what was good about the night, what was bad about the night? Or what we're going to do the next afternoon.

Valerie: Or, "I'm so drunk, I need to eat."

Do you remember your first night at work?

Joanna: You know in the film, when (Jersey) gets her T-shirt sleeves cut off? That really happened to me. I remember I was wearing a black Texaco T-shirt. And the bartender I was working with cut it in half, right under my breasts (Laughs). [Jo and Val]

Stacy in 2000.

Stacy: When I was first working at Doc's I was on day shifts. Within my first week of working there I met William, one of our regulars. I must have done something or said something to really piss him off because he took an entire pint of beer and threw it at me. I was wet. And this was like my third time I'd ever worked. Well, we had a garbage can behind the bar full of (cans of) Pabst, ice and water. I was standing right in front of it and I grabbed a pitcher off the shelf and filled it up with ice water. I said, "You better fucking run. You better run." And I threw it at him… he moved back to Ohio, but whenever he's in the city, he always comes back.

Do you have nicknames for all your regulars?

Valerie: Oh yeah.

Stacy: Most of them, yes. Some of them.

Joanna: Usually it's their first name and we're they're from. If they're from Texas, or wherever.

Stacy: Or like Cowboy Mike. Mike Holtz. There are just so many "Mikes" in the world; we just call him Cowboy Mike. Or there's Carpenter Mike, and Magic Brian.

How about the Coyote Ugly girls' outfits?

Joanna: Liked 'em.

Valerie: I loved them.

Stacy: Yeah.

Valerie: Would I actually spend $700 to work a shift? Because you can almost work one shift in an outfit. Come on, then it's ruined.

Which bartender in the movie had the best outfits?

Valerie: Not the trampy girl (Cammie/Izabella Miko), I didn't care much for hers. I didn't think her outfits were that great. I liked Rachel the bitch's outfits; she looked pretty saucy throughout the whole show. And Jersey's outfits were pretty cute, she looked good.

What about the movie tricks, what about the fire breathing?

Valerie: That's another bit where they took a little bit from all the other bars. And because it's a movie they need to embellish a little bit, which is fine. Every bar has its own tricks.

Joanna: That's much more flame than anyone can ever blow. And if we ever lit the bar on fire like they did, the bar would be in flames, and so would the customers. And if you're dousing people with liquor, and then lighting it on fire? No bar would take that risk.

Do you girls do bottle tricks behind the bar?

Valerie: That stuff's great, but nobody does that. At a country bar? Come on. We don't have the time to do that. You're in a shitty, divey, honky tonk fucking bar where the chicks don't have any money to buy bigger clothing to actually cover themselves. They don't have the time to give you any more than a shot of Jack Daniels. Who cares about the bottles? They're giving you this (experience) because you're here for nothin' and you're gonna get nothin'. You could get tricks, but that's going overboard.

Joanna: I don't do the water thing, if someone asks me for water, have some water.

Valerie: Granted when you get a group of people who come in and are only drinking water because they've been drinking all night and are so drunk, get the fuck out of here. But if you've got one guy drinking water because he's the designated driver and has to get all his friends back to Jersey, I'm going to give you every glass of water you want, and with a smile.

Joanna: That's right on.

Would you ever cut someone's ponytail off like Rachel does in the movie?

Joanna: Oh, God no.

Valerie: First of all, nobody is going to let you near his or her head with a scissors.

Joanna: Maybe snippets of hair.

Stacy: But not a whole ponytail!

Joanna: I've cut a little bit off of my own though, I've done that.

What about punching customers? Ever done that?

Valerie: (Doc Holliday's) fired a girl for that.

Stacy: Well, she threw an ashtray at a girl and hit her in the head. A ceramic ashtray.

Valerie: But if we were at one of Joanna 's shows and someone was making fun of her and wouldn't shut up, sure I'd smack the shit out of them, "shut the fuck up, my friend's on stage."

Joanna: Thanks.

Valerie: However, I don't want to sound too conservative. We've all iced down customers, done something like that, done something saucy. There's an attitude to have.

At what point do you look at a customer and say, 'I'm going to fuck with you' OR 'here's your beer, pal' -- how do you decide that?

Stacy: There's a level, a certain line you don't cross. You don't assault the customer, you tease them, you play and have fun. You don't assault them. There's a difference.

Valerie: It's almost like a show you got a ticket for. It's like De La Guarda, an interactive show you go to. At an interactive show there are certain characters -- the bartenders -- and they can't put that show on every night, they can't repeat it every night, they have an off night here and there. That's really pushing it.

Some new bartenders can hack it, and some have very short careers behind the bar.

Joanna: Yes. I thought it was funny when Lil said, "I knew you weren't a lifer," because there are people that have the staying power. There are (bartenders) we've gone through very quickly. Like the "new girl" working her first shift -- you pretty much know whether they're going to make it or not. There's only a certain amount of training you can do. If someone's a ditz, you can't help them.

Joanna: Like when Little Kate started working for us, she was very conservative, very sweet, very From the Middle of the Country Looking. She was very (in a little girl voice), "What can I get you?" She was just so. It got to the point where everybody liked her, but everybody at the bar was throwing coasters at her to get her to let her hair down a little bit. Finally she did, and it was fun. But it took all the guys, the daytime customers; they're definitely the toughest. If they don't like you, you know. They liked her.

Back to the movie. How about the cast?

Valerie: I thought Tom Arnold was very good.

Joanna: John Goodman.

Valerie: Oh yeah, Roseanne Arnold's man. He was cool. I love him.

Have your fathers ever been to see you at work, like Jersey's dad came to see her at the Coyote Ugly?

Valerie: My dad's cool, he doesn't have a problem with me being a bartender… but he's also never been to the bar where I work. I think if my dad saw some of the things I wear to work he might be a little…. Not ashamed. I think the whole "ashamed" thing in the movie was that (Violet's dad) wasn't ashamed at her for working in the bar, but that she wasn't pursuing her thing. That's why he said he was ashamed at her.

Stacy: Both my parents have come in on separate occasions to see me at work. My brother came in once, my cousin Jimmy comes in. Not often. My dad doesn't mind my career, but my thing is cooking, and he bitches at me that I should be cooking rather than bartending.

Joanna: My mom and dad have both come in. They live in Delaware so they come into the city a lot. My mom's a big country music fan so she really loves the jukebox. They've been in pretty early; they've seen the tame side of (the job), so I'm not dancing on the bar when they're there and not doing shots. But they're very supportive. Also because I managed the place of while they think its good.

Valerie: My sisters think I'm a rock star. They can't wait to come to visit the bar, hang out, and tell everybody about it. My dad's neutral about it.

Will you recommend Coyote Ugly to anyone?

Valerie: I think the movie is geared to people who can't come up with their own good time, and need to sit back and (watch); maybe people outside New York City. Because people here, come on, it's here! Go out and have your own good time! Or it's geared to the girl who lives in the Midwest who wants to get out and make it for herself. They need to get this encouragement. Many, many girls come to New York City and try this. It's your typical cliché bartender, the actress/model/songwriter/singer. You know? Half of us make it big and half of us don't. So the girls outside the city need to see it. But people outside the city, sadly enough, may not, because the name Coyote Ugly doesn't mean anything to them.

Joanna: It definitely sucked.

Stacy: They are pumping it up to be a movie about a bar, and its not. It's about a girl. They stretched out the whole stage fright thing for too long.

Thumbs up or thumbs down?

Joanna: Thumbs down.

Valerie: Thumbs down.

Stacy: Thumbs down.

Valerie: For those two hours, I'd have rather hung out at Hogs or Red Rock. I wanted to leave. I saw it because I'm a bartender. I was excited to see it. For those two hours I'd rather have been at a real bar in real life having a couple of cocktails rather than watch that movie.

Joanna: Or watching (Piper Perabo) lip-sync Leeann Rimes.

Valerie: Not only was her part a cliché, but cheesy. Really cheesy.

Thanks! See you three at the bar soon.

Kevin Fitzpatrick is the editor and publisher of New York City Bartenders & Patrons. He thanks you in third person for visiting.

Any comments or questions about this information direct them here.

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