By Belladonna

1. Lecture your friends on their etiquette towards the girls. No matter what kind of girls you're getting, very few really good-looking girls will let you disrespect them and walk all over them. The way guys get drunk, they get stupid. Make sure you prepare your friends before they get the liquor in them. I know it's not a very manly thing to stand up to your friends and say, "Hey boys! Let's all be gentlemen! Let's be respectful to the ladies!" No, guys are more likely to say, "These ho's! These bitches!" Don't disrespect the strippers. Don't fuck with the strippers. Because if it's your house, the strippers will go into your bathroom and pee on your toothbrush. Like I have done many a time, when the guy fucks with me, I fuck with their shit!

2. Don't bargain with the strippers. Give them the money they ask for, because you've agreed to it. Don't be a cheap ass. You take care of us, we take care of you. That goes for all of the strippers. Money talks, shit walks.

3. Have a talk with the girls before the show starts, after you've paid them. Talk to them about the show and if you have any special requests, this is the time to make them known. That way there's no disappointment after the show. You can't stop the show in the middle and say, "But we really wanted you to do this, and this, and that… and this is the guy we wanted you to pick on." Stuff like that.

4. Don't get the bachelor so drunk that he's throwing up by the time the strippers get there. Have him half sober. If you're really planning on getting him wasted, do it after the strippers are gone or at the end of the show. Because you're investing enough money and putting enough effort into it to do it right. And if the guy is too fucked up, then things are least likely to go smoothly.

5. Coke is the worst drug for a bachelor party. If you gotta do drugs, don't do coke. It makes your dick soft, and makes you grumpy and cranky. All together that's a bad formula for a bachelor party.