By Belladonna

First and foremost, if you're planning to have entertainment at your party, that should be your No. 1 priority. The place, the hotel, that's also important, but there isn't a whole lot of quality entertainment in the New York area.

If you're in the New York area you're likely to get lied to and ripped off by one of the million agencies that are out there that simply don't have what they claim to have. They successfully make thousands of dollars off of suckers who don't know how to go about it. These guys are just desperate; they think it's like ordering a pizza. It's not like that.

Unfortunately if you're planning to have quality entertainment in New York and you want someone to come that's reliable, you have to go by word of mouth. You have to go by referrals. That's how I'm in business. Everyone else sucks, so people refer their friends to me.

A bachelor party is something you do once in a guy's lifetime, if you're lucky. A birthday party you can try again. But a bachelor party is really something you don't want to fuck up. That's not just something that can be hit-or-miss. That's a real mess when you fuck that up. So first you're going to ask among your friends for a referral. If they don't know someone like me, for example, or someone else that's really good, then you need to know your rights with these agencies.

The biggest thing is agencies lie. They lie about the girls' ages and what they really look like. They could have outdated pictures on their web site, or they could show you old pictures or fake pictures of the girls - and they do, quite often.

You need to draw up some kind of agreement, because they will have you sign an agreement if they are good, but you need an agreement. They need to sign it. It should say that if they're full of shit, you get your money back. If the girls are late, you get your deposit back. If they don't live up to your expectations, you can dispute the price. If after they have performed, and you've already given them the money, and they don't perform as agreed, if they don't live up to your expectations and the agency promised you a whole lot, and they didn't deliver the goods, they have to agree to refund half of your money back or figure something out to make you both happy.

Most agencies, if they are full of shit and they know it, they will back away from a deal like that. If the agency is reputable, they will gladly sign whatever you want them to sign. Because if they have nothing to hide, you have nothing to worry about. I would say 99% of the agencies would not sign anything like that, because they're planning to fuck you over.

I never advertise and all my business is word of mouth because I'm a reliable service. I count on my callbacks. The other reason the agencies don't care if you're pissed off and had the worst time of your life is because they advertise and have a high volume of calls. They don't care if you never call them back again. They don't care if they're on your shit list. Because they do not care if you tell the whole world that Dial-A-Skank is a bad service. They couldn't care less because they are advertising and getting their own business.

Another thing is a lot of these agencies overbook. They only have a few girls and they take every single job that comes their way. They don't care if they only make some of the parties that night. After overbooking, they only make it to some of the parties, because to them they want to overbook in case one goes sour and this one doesn't really come through, or whatever. You have to get them to agree to be on time.

As for the authenticity of the pictures, make sure your demands are very clear. When you call, don't sound insecure or act like you've never called an agency before. Because the agency can sense your fear and tell when someone has never booked a party before. They'll totally take advantage of you. They're like telemarketers; they're very, very smart.

One thing to know about agencies is they take half -- or more -- of the girl's money. So you have to ask yourself, if you're paying a girl $250 or $300, what kind of girl is going to work for half of that? Do you honestly think a quality, good-looking girl, will work for that kind of money? For only $125 or $150? No, but most likely the girls will ask you for more money when they get to the party. Why? Because the agency took most of it. That's another thing to consider. They'll ask you for cabfare, parking money, or a tip, if you really want them to do a good job. They have little or no incentive to do a good job.

In my end, the way I do things, I'm one of the performers too. I know how the girls feel. So I give them a very fair cut of 60% to 70%, so they do a good job. This way the hope is that in the future the guys will call back and ask for my girls. A lot of my girls have their own fan club and followers. After awhile of working with me, the good ones stay, the lousy ones come and go. No matter how good-looking they are, if they don't have the personality to go with the looks, they don't stick around.

Another way to avoid dealing with agencies' bull is to find girls who work for themselves and meet them in person. That's how I started.